Jay Shackford
Redskins New Name
The biggest question going into February is: What’s going to be the new name of The Washington Football Team (formerly the Washington Redskins).
According to news leaks, the names under consideration are: RedWolves; Armanda; Presidents; Brigade; Defenders; Redhogs and Commanders. Considering that in choosing any name one needs to think about logos and artwork, none of the seven under consideration seem that spectacular. There are indeed a lot of references to the military. I think we can do better. So let’s have some fun with this. Thinking about animals, how about:
- The Washington Cheetahs (world’s fastest land animal reaching speeds of 0 to 60 in four seconds; cougars and falcons, world’s fastest bird, already taken by University of Washington and Atlanta, respectively).
- The Washington Thoroughbreds
- The Washington Stallions
On the political side of things:
- The Washington Monuments
- The Washington Filibusters
- The Washington Hustlers
- The Washington Escorts
- The Washington Bodyguards
- The Washington Do-Nothings
- The Washington Know-Nothings
- The Washington Scumbags
- The Washington Clowns
- The Washington Freedom Fighters
- The Washington Truth-Tellers
- The Washington Procrastinators
On the medical side:
- The Washington Pandemics
- The Washington Vaccinators
- The Washington Hot-Shots
- The Washington Boosters
- The Washington Distancers (with stadium seats realigned six feet apart)
For die-hard Trump fans, how about:
- The Washington Insurrectionists
- The Washington Grifters (in honor of Joan)
- The Washington Body Snatchers
- The Washington MAGAs
- The Washington Suck-ups
- The Washington Strongmen
- The Washington Brandons (Trump’s favorite)
- The Washington Predators
- The Washington January Sixers
- The Washington Liars
- The Washington Cheaters
- The Washington Fat Boys
- The Washington Tax Dodgers
- The Washington Draft Dodgers
- The Washington Immigrant Haters
- The Washington Toddler Strippers
- The Washington Separationists
- The Washington Border Patrols
- The Washington Kidnappers
Personally, I like the first on the list – The Washington Cheetahs, an animal that demonstrates the best of the NFL – speed, agility, strength, courage and intelligence to withstand the onslaught of the modern world that threatens their very existence on earth. Cheetahs—as compared to RedHogs -- would also make for some very interesting logos, artwork and uniforms.
But while we are changing the name, how about changing owners (Dan Snyder must go) and building a state-of-the-art stadium (along the lines of the one in LA) in the heart of the city where RFK now stands and has access to the metro and public transportation. We need more than a name change; we need a complete do-over; we need a new fan base representing the broad-based population of the DC area – not just catering to the powerful lobbying, business, corporate and political groups in town.
Joan, it's good to see you back and posting. How's your recovery going?
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