Nora Skinker (Morton)
Haha! I think when i am being compared to Spiro T., it's time to switch gears! Enjoy your broken hearts, wallow in misery and hyperbolic high drama or choose to absorb some other viewpoints that may just give you some hope that our country is certainly worth loving all the time. Or, perhaps you could actually say you are unhappy about the direction the country is going and not even use the love word. To quote an old Tina Turner song, 'what's love got to do with it?" Should half the country have felt loved when HRC called it full of "deplorables"? Hmm...
Glen, I wish i could talk about food with you, I really do. But every time I do, I go to my kitchen and PRESTO! my thighs seem to enlarge right before my very eyes! Am trying hard to keep my swimsuit days under control, so I have to quickly skim over your delectable photos. Speaking of photos, what a beautiful Iris (my fave) and got a hoot out of the New Yorker cartoon. SOO true. I'll never get to the Mueller report with all I have to read. But, hey, why should I? I have the ever adorable John Dean to give me the lowdown this week. Thank gawd I don't define my country by its politics. I could find myself getting brokenhearted daily.
On a lighter note (and so we can balance some of the political intercourse), here is a cute email from one of my kids. Luckily, he knows I have a sense of humor and, if you choose to read it, you may want to keep yours, too:
ARE YOU REALLY READY TO RETIRE?
You can retire to Phoenix, Arizona where...
1. You are willing to park three blocks away from your house because you found shade. 2. You experienced condensation on your rear-end from the hot water in the toilet bowl. 3. You can drive for four hours in one direction and never leave town. 4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food. 5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door at 500 degrees. 6. The four seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??
OR....you can retire to California where...
1. You make over $450,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house. 2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway. 3. You know how to eat an artichoke. 4. When someone asks how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles it is. 5. The four seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud and Drought.
OR...you can retire to New York City where...
1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan. 2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map. 3. You think Central Park is "nature." 4.You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multilingual. 5. You've worn out a car horn. (IF you have a car.) 6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.
OR...you can retire to Minnesota where...
1. You only have three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup. 2. Halloween costumes have to fit over parkas. 3. You have seventeen recipes for casserole. 4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons. 5. The four seasons are: almost winter, winter, still winter and road repair. 6. The highest level of criticism is "he is different", "she is different", or "it was different!"
OR...you can retire to The Deep South where....
1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store. 2, "Y'all is singular and "all y'all" is plural. 3. "He needed killin" is a valid defense. 4. Everyone has two first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Joe Bob, Eddie Guy, Mary Beth, etc. 5. Everything is either: "in yonder," "over yonder" or "out yonder". 6. You can say anything about anyone, as long as you say "bless his heart" at the end.
OR...you can move to Colorado where...
1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car. 2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home, so he stops at the day care center. 3. A pass does not involve a football or dating. 4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.
OR...you can retire to Nebraska or Kansas where...
1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows y our name. 2. Your idea of a traffic jam is three cars waiting to pass a tractor. 3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day. 4. You end sentences with a preposition: "where's my coat at?"
OR...finally, you can retire to Florida where...
1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon. 2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind - even houses and cars. 3. Everyone can recommend an excellent cardiologist, dermatologist, proctologist, podiatrist or orthopedist. 4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state. 5. Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by headless people.
(Forum elitists (you know who you are) should love that one).
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